Dealing with the “can’ts” and naysayers

Dealing with the “can’ts” and naysayers

February 28, 2021 2 By Rick

You can’t have this. You can’t eat that. You can’t do this. You can’t, you can’t you can’t – get the picture? The Urban Dictionary defines a naysayer as: “One who frequently engages in excessive complaining, negative banter and/or a genuinely poor and downbeat attitude. Naysayers are distinguished by their tendency to consistently view the glass half empty, make frequent one-way trips to negative town, and constantly emphasize the worst of a situation. They can rant and whine for hours on end about the most insignificant inconveniences. They tend to travel solo but have the keen ability to spread their pessimistic attitude to a group of unsuspecting bystanders and encourage others to employ their mindset.” https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=naysayer. That’s as great a definition as you can find.

At least one
We all know at least one naysayer. Probably more! You know the kind of person I mean. The one who never has anything good to say about anything or anybody. The one who sucks the energy and positivity from the people around him or her – energy vampires. The one who tells you how you can’t do things instead of how you can do things. I hate them. I admit, sometimes it’s good to have someone play the “devil’s advocate” when launching new ideas or products, but that’s about it.

Naysayers I’ve met
Trust me, I’ve met plenty of naysayers in my life, especially people who told me I couldn’t do something (that’s a double-negative but bear with me you grammar freaks out there.). For example, in high school, I was told I could never break a city record in the 100-yard (no competitions measured in meters in my time) Butterfly. So, I did when I was 15! People told me I could never get through BUD/S (Basic Underwater/ SEAL training). So, I did! Almost everyone said I would never pass the highly competitive process to become a diplomat. So, I did. People told me I’d never be selected to Swedish Survivor (Robinson) at the age of 70. But I was! Nothing spurs me on more than someone telling me I can’t do something.

Naysayers in your lives
How about you? Have you got many naysayers in your lives? People who seem to feel their mission in life is to keep you from achieving yours. People who constantly discourage you. Why are these people like they are? Most likely because they’re scared to step out of their comfort zones. Just remember, these are their fears – not yours. The best way to deal with them is to ignore them and tune them out. Get rid of the naysayers in your lives and surround yourselves with people who have a positive, “can-do” mindset. It’s been said that you’re the average of five people you spend the most time with. Make sure none of them is a naysayer.

Find your “cheerleaders”
You’ll always have certain people who will be your cheerleaders – usually family and friends. These are people who believe in you and are confident you’ll be successful. And don’t forget that you should be your own “cheerleader.” Fill your mind with positive pep talks about your goals and ideas. Positive thinking really works. It can impact everything from your body language to your actions. And it’s contagious. When you’re positive, you’ll influence others positively and help them find the courage to grow. The English philosopher John Locke stated it well back in the 1600s: “New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.” Purge the naysayers from your lives! I’ve purged them from mine.